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Showing posts from July, 2014

The charred remains of a 19 years old suicide bomber

A 19 years old female suicide bomber blew up herself and injured 6 others that includes two policemen at the entrance gate of Kano Trade Fair complex, police says. The police Image Maker in Kano, ASP Magaji Musa Majia told Reporters that the incident occurred at the entrance gate around 2.00pm when security operatives stopped her for screening. - See more at: http://www.vanguardngr.com/2014/07/2-policemen-4-others-injured-another-female-suicide-bomber-hit-kano-trade-fair-complex/#sthash.cnY4cyUr.dpuf

Flights To Liberia, Sierra Leone Are Suspended Over The Ebola Virus

Officials from Arik Air on Sunday said flight operations to Monrovia in Liberia, and Freetown in Sierra-Leone, would be suspended beginning on Monday. The statement from airline officials comes following the first Ebola virus death in Nigeria that occurred on Friday. Airline officials publicly confirmed their decision to suspend the flights in Lagos. This story of the suspensions comes from the Abuja-based Leadership. READ MORE… http://bit.ly/X4W0kM

Breaking: Second female bomber blown up in Kano

Less than five hours after a female suicide bomber blew up herself at a mega filling station, Hotoro, while in a queue to procure kerosene, another female has blown up herself at the Kano trade fair complex today. Read full story: http://thenationonlineng.net/new/breaking-news-second-female-bomber-detonates-in-kano/

Bus Passenger Killed By Bribe-Seeking Police In Lagos Buried

The family of a man shot dead last Tuesday by policemen from Alakara police station in Lagos has claimed the body of the deceased and buried him yesterday in Ibadan, SaharaReportershas learned. The victim, identified as 23-year old Lawal Toheeb, was shot and killed at 9: 30 p.m. on the night of July 22 at Alakara junction in Mushin, Lagos State. READ MORE… http://bit.ly/busstationkilledbybribeseekingpoliceinmushinlagos

Sylva’s uncle kidnapped in Bayelsa

Pa Benson Adigio-Eseni, an octogenarian uncle to former governor of Bayelsa State, Mr. Timipre Sylva, has been kidnapped. The Nation gathered that the 86-year-old Adigio-Eseni was abducted at 2am on Sunday from his residence in Okpoama, Brass Local Government Area of the state. Sources said the abductors rode in a speedboat and shot sporadically before seizing their victim. They were said to have fled into the creeks with the octogenarian. A relation of the victim, Austin Adigio, confirmed the incident. “It’s true, he (Adigio-Eseni) was kidnapped last night at about 2am,” he said.

Ebola: 59 placed on close surveillance

Lagos State Government has disclosed that at least 59 people that had contact with the late Patrick Sawyer, the Liberian citizen that died of Ebola virus Lagos last week have been placed on close surveillance. The state Commissioner for Health Dr. Jide Idris, disclosed this on Monday at a press briefing held in conjunction with Federal Ministry of Health officials at the Staff Clinic in Alausa. Idris, who said the measure was geared towards preventing the spread of the virus, assured residents that there was no cause for alarm. He said, “So far a total of 59 contacts have been registered consisting 44 hospital contacts, 38 healthcare workers and six laboratory staff. Others are 15 airport contacts comprising three Economic Communities of West African States (ECOWAS) staff-driver, Liaison, and Protocol officer, Nigerian Ambassador to Liberia, two nursing staff and five airport passenger handlers. “As of the time of this report, 20 contacts had been physically screened of which 50 perce...

Boko Haram Spreads Reign Of Terror Into Cameroon, Kidnaps Wife Of Vice PM

The wife of Cameroon's vice prime minister was kidnapped, and Boko Haram militants in the northern town of Kolofata killed at least three people in an attack on Sunday, Cameroon officials said according to a Reuters report. A local religious leader, or Lamido, named Seini Boukar Lamine, who is also the town's mayor, was kidnapped as well, in a separate attack on his home. READ MORE… http://bit.ly/Bokoharamspreadsintocameroon

Eagles eye: Breaking News: Bomb blast in Catholic Church, Kano...

Eagles eye: Breaking News: Bomb blast in Catholic Church, Kano... : A bomb blast at St Charles Catholic Church, Kano on Sunday morning has killed five worshipers. Eight others, including security men were in...

Five Suspects Arrested In Kano Bomb Attacks - Nigeria Police

As part of on-going investigations into the various terror related incidents that occurred in Kano, Police operatives in the ancient city have arrested five (5) male suspects for their complicity in the attacks. Two were arrested in connection with the foiled bomb attack at Isyaku Rabiu Mosque, while three were arrested in connection with the attack at St Charles Church. All suspects are currently undergoing interrogation. Intensive patrols are ongoing, citizens are advised to be vigilant and report any suspicious person or activities to security forces. ACP FRANK MBA FORCE PUBLIC RELATIONS OFFICER, FORCE HEADQUARTERS, ABUJA. http://goo.gl/yp5du2

Breaking News: Bomb blast in Catholic Church, Kano

A bomb blast at St Charles Catholic Church, Kano on Sunday morning has killed five worshipers. Eight others, including security men were injured.

United 3 Roma 2

Manchester United made a winning start to the International Champions Cup with an entertaining victory over AS Roma in Denver. All three of the Reds’ goals at the Sports Authority Field came in the first half; Wayne Rooney netted twice to make it four goals in two games on tour, sandwiching a Juan Mata effort. Roma substitute Miralem Pjanic pulled one back after the break with a spectacular strike from well inside his own half, and Francesco Totti added a late penalty, but United held out for a satisfactory three points in this pre-season tournament. While the Italians posed a much stiffer challenge than LA Galaxy had three days earlier, United were still good value for the win, despite Roma’s second-half rally. United again lined up in a 3-4-1-2, with Tyler Blackett, the only Red to play 90 minutes, and Reece James, who scored twice against the Galaxy, starting in defence and on the left wing respectively. Tom Cleverley was captain before being replaced with 20 minutes left. Inside 8...

Ebola Victim’s Death: FG, Lagos Launch Manhunt for Co-passengers

Following the death of an Ebola virus victim from Liberia, Patrick Sawyer, in Lagos, on Thursday, the Federal Government and the Lagos State Government have jointly launched a manhunt for some of the passengers of the airplane that brought the late Liberian into the country, Sunday Newswatch has learnt. The late Sawyer, who was reported to have arrived Nigeria last Sunday aboard a Liberian carrier, Asky Airline, was said to be in company of over 100 co-passengers of different nationalities, among who were about 35 Nigerians. The 40-year-old visiting Liberian died of the deadly virus after being tested positive to the disease at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). According to sources in the Federal Ministry of Health, the Nigerian co-passengers of the late Ebola victim were supposed to be quarantined for thorough investigations, based on an order placed by the Federal Government, but no sooner had the news broken out, than the suspected victims of the deadly virus took to t...

Body of Ebola victim cremated in Lagos

The body of the first victim of Ebola Virus Disease in Nigeria, who died in Lagos on Friday, has been cremated. Details of the cremation were not available at press time but Sunday Vanguard gathered that the event was witnessed by officials of the Lagos State Ministry of Health and the Nigeria Centre for Disease Control, NCDC, led by its Project Director, Professor Abdulsalam Nasidi, among others. The decision to cremate the body of the victim, it was further gathered, may not be unconnected with the deadly nature of the Ebola Virus which is known to be easily transmissible from human to human during handling of corpses of victims. The World Health Organisation recommends that in communities where there is an outbreak of Ebola, appropriate containment measures including burial of the dead should be properly handled. While stating that people who die from Ebola should be promptly and safely buried, WHO notes that cremation, which is the application of high temperature to reduce b...

Chief Ebola Doctor Contracts Ebola

A doctor who has played a key role in fighting the Ebola outbreak in Sierra Leone is infected with the disease, according to that country's Ministry of Health. Dr: Shelk Humarr Khan is being treated by the French aid group Medecins Sans Frontieres - also known as Doctors Without Borders - in Kailahum, Sirra Leone, Tim Shenk, an agency spokesman, told CNN. Until falling ill, Khan had been overseeing Ebola treatment and isolation units at Kenema Government Hospital, about 185 miles east of the capital Freetown. Citing patient confidentiality, Shenk declined to provide additional details about Khan's condition.The Ministry of Health took to Facebook to deny reports te doctor had died. The minisry "wishes the general public and all partners working in the healthcare sector to know that, ...Khan is still alive and responding to treatment comtrary to social media report of his demise," according to a Facebok post. Sierra Leone has had 427 confirmed cases of Ebola and 144 ...

Please Take Me To Church

A worn-out N1000 note and a similarly distressed N10 note arrived at the Central Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation. The one thousand naira reminisced about its travels all over the country: "I've had a pretty good life" the one thousand naira proclaimed. "I have been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano, and Abuja. The finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja and Eastern Nigeria. Performances at Muson Centre and Glover Hall, the hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans." "WOW!" said the ten naira. "You've really had an exciting life!" "So tell me, says the N1,000 note, "where have you been throughout your life time?" The N10 note replies: "Oh, I've been to the ECWA Churches, Apostolic and Methodist Churches, the Redeemed Christian Church, the Deeper Life Bible church, Baptist Church, the C ...

Drogba Re-sign for Chelsea

The Ivorian, 36, won 10 trophies at Chelsea from 2004 to 2012 and was a free agent after leaving Galatasaray. Manager Jose Mourinho had earlier said the forward “belongs” at Stamford Bridge – but that any deal would be made “in a non-emotional way”. Drogba told Chelsea’s official site:“It was an easy decision – I couldn’t turn down the opportunity to work with Jose again.” He said: “Everyone knows the special relationship I have with this club and it has always felt like home to me. “My desire to win is still the same and I look forward to the opportunity to help this team. I am excited for this next chapter of my career.” DROGBA’S CAREER AT CHELSEA Debut: v Manchester United, 15 August 2004 First goal: v Crystal Palace, 24 August 2004 Appearances: 341 Goals: 157 Honours: Premier League: 2004-05, 2005-06, 2009-10; FA Cup: 2006-07, 2008-09, 2009-10, 2011-12; League Cup: 2004-05, 2006-07 Champions League: 2011-12 Premier League top goalscorer: 2007, 2010 Mourinho said: “He’s coming beca...

Nigerian Troops Hold Suspected Bomber Disguised As A Woman

Nigerian troops are holding a man suspected to be connected with the explosion targeted at General Buhari on Wednesday. The young man who was apprehended by a military patrol team that swooped-in on the area immediately following the explosion, had found the suspicious character disguised as a woman. He was clad in female garb to exude femininity with a brassiere affixed to his chest. http://bit.ly/1tKe3XX

Liberian Man With Ebola Virus Dies In Lagos

Mr. Patrick Sawyer, a WASH consultant at the Ministry of Finance, who had been quarantined since falling ill after arriving in Lagos State for a conference last Sunday, has died. A Liberian government official, speaking on condition of anonymity said the news of Sawyer's death was relayed to Liberia by the Nigerian embassy, early Friday morning. Nigerian government health authorities announced Thursday that Sawyer, 40 was being tested for the deadly Ebola virus in Nigeria's commercial capital, Lagos. Sawyer’s death is the first recorded case of one of the world’s deadliest diseases in Nigeria. http://goo.gl/JlXlfp

Monarch, 15 others killed in Borno

Gunmen believed to be Boko Haram members yesterday invaded Garubula village, Biu local Government area of Borno State, killing the District Head, Alhaji Ibrahim Dawi, and 11 others. Two people suspected to be members of vigilante youth a.k.a as civilian JTF, were last night dragged from their houses to a river bank in Gamboru Ngala border town with Cameroon Republic and killed them. Two people suspected to be a motorist and a passenger, were ambushed and shot dead along Maiduguri – Gamboru Ngala road.The Maiduguri – Gamboru Ngala road came under attack on Tuesday by terrorists with the blowing of the the bridge linking the town with Cameroon Republic. Speaking with the BBC Hausa service programme monitored in Maidugurji, Senator Ahmed Zanna (Borno Central) confirmed the killing of the two members of the Civilian JTF.

Breaking News: Algerian Plane Disappears From Radar

An Algerian passenger plane has reportedly disappeared from radar while flying from Burkina Faso. A commercial jetliner disappeared over western Africa after losing contact with air traffic controllers, Algeria's state-run news agency reported Thursday. Authorities lost contact with the Air Algerie aircraft about 50 minutes after it took off from Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso, while flying to the Algiers, according to the Algerian Press Service. The news service gave no extra details other than the flight number AH5017. It said the company initiated an "emergency plan" in the search for flight AH5017, which flies the four-hour passenger route four times a week. A company source told AFP that the missing aircraft was a DC-9, which can seat up to some 135 passengers, chartered from a Portuguese firm. According to a source within Air Algerie, some 110 people are listed as being on board the flight.

Bomb blast in Kano

A bomb blast has been reported at New Road Motor Park, Sabon Gari, Kano. Eyewitnesses said the bomb went off inside the crowded motor park as passengers were boarding vehicles out of the city. Sabon Gari is part of Kano with a high population of Christians from the south. Ike Chukwu, a local trader, told Reuters by telephone that emergency services had arrived to evacuate wounded from the bus station. However, there was no immediate report on the number of casualties. The incident came barely 24 hours after two explosions rocked Kaduna metropolis and killed 87 people.

24-Hour Curfew In Kaduna Lifted

The 24-hour curfew imposed yesterday in Kaduna, the capital of Kaduna State, has been lifted. The draconian curfew was imppsed after the town was rocked yesterday by two separate deadly blasts that targeted a former military ruler, Muhammadu Buhari, and a major Islamic cleric, Sheik Bauchi. The curfew's suspension was contained in a statement released by Ahmed Maiyaki, a spokesman of Governor Mukhtar Yero of Kaduna State.
The 24-hour curfew imposed yesterday in Kaduna, the capital of Kaduna State, has been lifted. The draconian curfew was imppsed after the town was rocked yesterday by two separate deadly blasts that targeted a former military ruler, Muhammadu Buhari, and a major Islamic cleric, Sheik Bauchi. The curfew's suspension was contained in a statement released by Ahmed Maiyaki, a spokesman of Governor Mukhtar Yero of Kaduna State.

Nigerian Army Unable To Retake Damboa From Boko Haram

Nigerian soldiers have made three futile attempts without being able to retake the town of Damboa in Borno State that was captured recently by members of the Islamist insurgent group, Boko Haram, two military sources have told SaharaReporters. Our sources said the Nigerian Army had made three major attempts to retake the town from Boko Haram, but pulled back each time because many soldiers seemed afraid to engage the fierce firepower of fighters of the dreaded terrorist sect.

Liberian tested for Ebola in Lagos

A Liberian man in his 40s was on Thursday tested for the deadly Ebola virus in Lagos, the state Health Ministry said. Reuters says Ebola has killed 632 people across Guinea, Liberia and Sierra Leone since an outbreak began in February, straining a string of weak health systems despite international help. This would be the first recorded case of one of the world’s deadliest diseases in Nigeria, Africa’s biggest economy and most populous nation, with 170 million people and some of Africa’s least adequate health infrastructure.

LA Galaxy 0 United 7

Manchester United kicked off the new era under Louis van Gaal with a 7-0 hammering of LA Galaxy at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena to claim victory in the Chevrolet Cup. The Reds were deserved winners on the night thanks to braces from Wayne Rooney, youngster Reece James and Ashley Young and a fine opening strike from Danny Welbeck. Van Gaal picked a strong starting XI for his first match in charge, the opening game of Tour 2014 presented by Aon, and opted for a tried and tested formula from his time with the Netherlands of three centre-backs with Chris Smalling, Jonny Evans and Phil Jones. Antonio Valencia and debutant Luke Shaw played the roles of wing-backs. Captain for the night Darren Fletcher sat in midfield alongside debutant Ander Herrera and a slightly advanced Juan Mata, with Rooney and Welbeck ahead of them up front to complete a 3-5-2 formation. The Reds came flying out of the blocks with Herrera and Welbeck both testing goalkeeper Jaime Penedo inside eight minutes. Herrera saw ...

APC to Daniel: face your case with EFCC

The Ogun State chapter of the All Progressives Congress (APC ) has advised former Governor Gbenga Daniel to concentrate on his trial by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission( EFCC). A statement by its Publicity Secretary, Sola Lawal, urged him to stop attacking Governor Ibikunle Amosun. The APC said: “It is regrettable that pariahs, who ought to be behind bars for sundry unmitigated crimes against the people are pontificating on the way forward for the same hapless people. “Whereas the Amosun administration has been adjudged as the best in recent time in the annals of governance in the state, forces of retrogression could still hold firmly the levers of obstinate denials. “The infrastructural, health , education, agricultural and other transformations witnessed in Ogun State since assumption of office of the Amosun government and widespread endorsement of these programmes by the people speak volume of the eagerness of Ogun people to cut a final break from a past of mesmerising ...

Nutritionist Warns Against Consumption Of Honey

Contrary to the common misconception that honey is healthier than the refined white sugar, experts say honey has even more sugar calories and advised on moderate intake. A consultant nutritionist and National president Dietician society of Nigeria, Dr. Chika Ndiokwelu revealed this finding during a media forum on dealing with non communicable diseases organised by Nigeria bottling company in Lagos recently. According to him, honey actually contains several simple sugars such as: fructose, glucose, sucrose which is unhealthy if consumed in excess, adding that one gram of honey contains 21 calories of sugar, white sugar contains just15 calories. He cautioned that consuming excess calories of sugar from any source, whether from sugar, honey or other sources of carbohydrates can lead to obesity and non communicable diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, coronary diseases, cancers and mental disorders. He stressed on the dangers of obesity which he said could lead to cardiovascular disea...

Nutritionist Warns Against Consumption Of Honey

Contrary to the common misconception that honey is healthier than the refined white sugar, experts say honey has even more sugar calories and advised on moderate intake. A consultant nutritionist and National president Dietician society of Nigeria, Dr. Chika Ndiokwelu revealed this finding during a media forum on dealing with non communicable diseases organised by Nigeria bottling company in Lagos recently. According to him, honey actually contains several simple sugars such as: fructose, glucose, sucrose which is unhealthy if consumed in excess, adding that one gram of honey contains 21 calories of sugar, white sugar contains just15 calories. He cautioned that consuming excess calories of sugar from any source, whether from sugar, honey or other sources of carbohydrates can lead to obesity and non communicable diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, coronary diseases, cancers and mental disorders. He stressed on the dangers of obesity which he said could lead to cardiovascular disea...

Colour-coding ballot papers for Osun election-Jega

Colour-coding ballot papers will be used during the August 9 gubernatorial election in Osun State Chairman of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), Prof. Attahiru Jega disclosed this at an “Experience Sharing Dialogue With Media Professionals” in Abuja on Wednesday. Noting that the ballot papers were found to be effective in the Ekiti polls, Jega assured that everything humanly possible would be done to ensure, free, fair and credible election Osun State. “Contrary to what some persons say about the Ekiti election, we actually did colour-coding of our ballot papers and the procedures were so rigorous that we would be able to detect any fraud. We did it in Ekiti and we will continue to do that because it has eliminated fraudulent activities.” He also justified the need for effective deployment of security personnel during election which he said ensured a violence-free poll in Ekiti State. Jega warned politicians involved in the Osun poll to eschew violence and to appr...

Finally, Emir Of Kano Lamido Sanusi Meets President Jonathan

President Goodluck Jonathan and former Central bank Governor, and newly installed Emir of Kano, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi met at the Presidential Villa in Abuja today to break the Ramadan fast with the President. The reconciliation meeting was brokered by the Sultan of Sokoto, Saa’ad Abubakar.

Update On Nigerian Aire Force Helicopter Crash: Missing Crew Member Found Alive

The engineering crew member of the crashed Nigerian Air Force Mi-35 Helicopter earlier declared missing has been found alive. The crew member, who was declared missing when his body could not be located in the vicinity of the crash, resurfaced at the military headquarters in Maiduguri today, having trekked through the bushes after the crash.

NMA STRIKE: Resident Doctors Summoned as Bomb blast Rocks Kaduna

An explosion occurred in central Kaduna, killing no fewer than 10 people. The blast occurred Wednesday afternoon along Isa Kaita roads. The explosion is believed to have been targeted at the convoy of a prominent Islamic cleric, Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi, who was on his way to the Square. In a swift reaction, a statement signed on behalf of the ARD President Kaduna was sent out directing all doctors around the central area of kaduna to assemble immediately at Barau Dikko Specialist hospital to attend to the injured and dying. You would recall that Doctors in Nigeria have been on strike for over three weeks now with efforts to get them back to work have not been successfull.

Twin bomb blasts rock Kaduna, 39 confirmed dead

Twin bomb explosions rocked Kaduna metropolis on Wednesday, killing more than 50 people. Former military Head of State, General Muhammadu Buhari narrowly escaped being killed in the second blast. The explosions started at Alkali by Isa Kaita Road when a suspected suicide bomber on a motorcycle believed to be trailing famous Islamic Scholar, Sheik Dahiru Bauchi exploded with the bomb. About two hours later, another explosion rocked Kawo market, close to the popular Kawo flyover bridge. At the scene of the first blast, Kaduna Police Commissioner, Umar Shehu who confirmed to journalists that 25 people were dead described the blast as unfortunate. According to him, preliminary information gathered revealed that the suspected suicide bomber might have targeted Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi, who just completed the annual grand finale of his Ramadan Tafsir at Murtala Square . However, eyewitnesses told The Nation that the bomb which occurred at about 12.45pm while large crowd of Sheikh Bauchi’s follo...

100 days: 11 Parents Of Abducted Chibok Girls Die

In the three months since Islamic extremists kidnapped more than 200 Nigerian schoolgirls, according to a report in Yahoo! News, AP and other news sources, 11 of their parents have died, town residents say. It is a sad ‘side affect’ in the still unresolved disappearances of the kidnapped Chibok girls. Yet, it is also one of several issues raised in June by UN Women at a London conference that addressed the re-integration of citizens caught in the cross-fire of civil unrest and terrorism. Militants, who have been attacking villages in the region, cut off the town where the girls were kidnapped, Chibok. Seven fathers of kidnapped girls were among 51 bodies brought to the Chibok hospital after an attack on the nearby village of Kautakari this month, said a health worker who insisted on anonymity for fear of reprisals by the extremists.

Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi Tells Us ‘How I Escaped The Bomb Blast’

Islamic Cleric, Sheikh Dahiru Bauchi, narrowly escaped being killed by a Bomb blast in Kaduna that targeted his convoy on Wednesday. The attack came after the closing ceremony of his yearly Ramadan Tafsir at Murtala Square, Kaduna. Speaking exclusively to Sahara Reporters immediately after the blast, the Cleric confirm that the explosion was targeted at him, but he escaped unhurt. He said his escape comes as a result of persistent prayers, and described the attack as “un-Islamic, barbaric and condemnable.” READ MORE… http://bit.ly/UoerPC

Jonathan appoints Chidoka Aviation Minister

President Goodluck Jonathan on Wednesday swore in two ministers and deployed the former Corp Marshal of the Federal Road Safety Corps, Osita Chidoka (Anambra) as the new Minister of Aviation. Abubakar Suleiman (Kwara) was deployed as the Minister of National Planning and Deputy Chairman National Planning Commission (NPC). One of the former Deputy Corps Marshal, Boboye Oyeyemi was named by the President as the new Corp Marshal of the FRSC. President Jonathan tasked them to bring in their wealth of experiences to impact positively on their new assignment. He said: “We expect that as you join the team at this time, this is an injury time like in a soccer match, when you are brought in at that time you are expected to score goals or to give very solid defence.” “So Nigerians are expecting much from you…the issues facing us, of course most of African countries, is the issue of governance.” “We expect you to bring to bear your wealth of experience so that wherever you are deployed, you will...

Breaking News: Explosion Rocks Kaduna Killing Several People

An explosion on a busy commercial road in the north Nigerian city of Kaduna killed several people on Wednesday, witnesses said. The blast scattered debris and dead bodies on the Alkali Road in the city, witness Muhammad Danfulani told Reuters by telephone. Source: Reuters

Cristiano Ronaldo Reveals Why He Doesn’t Have Any Tattoos

Legendary footballer Cristiano Ronaldo has revealed why he doesn’t have any tattoos: because he likes to give blood. Ronaldo, known for his efforts to help children overcome debilitating diseases, skips the ink so that he can continue to donate blood. In many countries, a new tattoo can affect how often a person donates blood, with a waiting period between six months and a year employed as a precaution against cross-contamination and diseases like hepatitis. “I don’t have tattoos because I donate blood very often,” he said, according to Diretta News, while also taking the time to share a photo on his Facebook page that showed him donating at a hospital. He reportedly gives twice a year. Additionally, he told Spanish radio station Cadena Cope that he became a bone marrow donor after witnessing a teammate’s struggles. ‘It was the time when Carlos [Martins] was with us on the national team. He told us about the problem with his son and we, the players, showed great unity to help him and ...

Nigerian Air Force Helicopter Crashes In Borno State

A helicopter belonging to the Nigerian Air Force crashed today South of Bama, Nigeria’s Defence authorities have said. A statement by the Director of Defence Information, Major General Chris Olukolade, said the Mi-35 helicopter was on a training mission, and crashed South of Bama, in Borno State, “due to technical fault.” He did not say if there were any casualties or survivors, but stressed that it has been established that the crash was not attributable to enemy action.

Don't Judge Book By Its Cover

A blind guy visited his Choir Mistress at her house who was abt taking her bath to share a testimony. Since the Choir Mistress knew the guy was blind, she came out naked from the bathroom to let him in. She shaved her private parts in front of him whilst talking to him then asked permission to go and take her bath. After bathing, she came back to him while wiping herself and tried to make a conversation by asking him, "Brother Paul, what brings you here? Is everything fine at home?" He replied, "Yes, very fine! I just came to tell you that I have done the eye operation, so I can see clearly now!

Nigerian Athletes Living Like Beggars In Glasgow

Some of the athletes who will be representing Nigeria at the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow are crying over their condition since their arrival in Scotland over the weekend. With the Games set to kick off on Wednesday, delegates from the participating countries are already on ground and could be seen on the streets of Glasgow, especially around the games village, rightly fitted with track suits bearing their national colours. This is in contrast to the Nigerian athletes, who confirmed that they have not been supplied with kits and as a result they are dressed in different colours. Only those participating in the track and field events have kits, from other events they took part in. Others have no kits says, a senior Nigerian athlete at the Games, “it is embarrassing seeing Nigerian athletes in tatters,” he continued, adding “some are even wearing bathroom slippers." “The athletics team was lucky to have their own personal kits from previous outings. Nobody has been supplied with k...

Adamawa Acting Gov visits PDP’s secretariat, says ‘I have delivered’

Adamawa State Acting Governor, Ahmadu Umaru Fintiri, yesterday stormed the Abuja National Secretariat of the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP), telling party leaders that “I have delivered”. Fintiri went ahead to tell the party chiefs that he had recovered and delivered the mandate stolen by ousted Governor Murtala Nyako to the ruling party. Speaking with reporters shortly after he had a closed door meeting with some of the national officials of the party, Fintiri said his emergency as governor had restored the state back to the PDP. The four-day-old Acting Governor said: “As a loyal and obedient party member, I came on a courtesy call to my party and the National Working Committee as my first assignment after the battle to remove Governor Nyako who had stolen the mandate of the PDP under which he was elected. “I came here to bring back the mandate and I have handed over to them (party leaders) the mandate. I promise that I will work together with the party, its leadership and the people...

My First Experience About Condom

My first time to use a condom I entered a shop and bought a pack with 3 condoms, looked at them curiously for a while wondering how on earth I could use them. The lady at the counter noticed my puzzlement and asked sincerely, "Have you ever used a condom? Do you know how to put it on? " I blushed said, "No!" The lady took one condom and opened it and wore it on her thumb as an example." This is how you wear it. You have to make sure its tight!" I was even more puzzled by this. I was just an innocent young man. She noticed how shy and confused I was. "You must be a virgin," she said teasingly. "Have you ever had sex?" I said, "No!" Then she looked around the shop; there was no one but just the two of us. She called me behind the counter, opened the door leading to the back -rooms and invited me in. She quickly locked the door, told me to hurry up because "we don't have time! " She pulled her short skirt up, her p...

United reveal 25-man tour squad

Louis van Gaal has named a 25-man Manchester United travelling squad for Tour 2014, presented by Aon. As the boss explained during his unveiling press conference at Old Trafford on Thursday, he is keen to assess every member of the group during this summer's trip. Alongside the first-team players, a host of young Reds will subsequently fly to the United States. New signings Ander Herrera and Luke Shaw are also part of the travelling party, but Michael Carrick will unfortunately miss the trip following his ankle surgery this week. The Reds will play four matches during Tour 2014, presented by Aon, beginning with a match against LA Galaxy in the Chevrolet Cup on 23 July. Further matches in the International Champions Cup will follow against AS Roma in Denver (26 July), Inter Milan in Washington DC (29 July) and Real Madrid in Ann Arbor (2 August). Every tour match will be shown live on MUTV HDand you can also follow ManUtd.com's live tour blog from Saturday, bringing you news...

Stop Attacking President Jonathan, Shagari Tells APC.

Sokoto State Deputy Governor and leader of the Peoples Democratic Party, Alhaji Mukhtari Shagari, Thursday advised the leadership of the All Progressive Congress (APC), to put its house in order rather than dissipating its energy attacking President Goodluck Jonathan. He also said the APC would be a thing of history in 2015, as the party lacked concrete programmes to improve on the welfare of Nigerians.

3 Dead And 1 Injured As Nasarawa Impeachment Hits Up

Three people died while one person was wounded yesterday during clashes between Gwandara and Eggon youths who were protesting over the commencement of impeachment proceedings against Governor Umaru Tanko Al-Makura of Nasarawa State. Reporters gathered that some armed Gwandara youths stormed the house of an Eggon man around Old Alamis Market and set it ablaze along with his car. Many governorship posters of information minister Labaran Maku were said to have been pasted on the walls of the house. Ismaila Numan, the state police public relations officer, confirmed the development, saying the house was burnt in the early hours of yesterday but he could not confirm who was responsible. However, Investigations revealed that the impeachment notice served on the governor by the state lawmakers did not go down well with the Gwandara youths who resorted to violent protests to register their anger over the attempt to impeach their kinsman to pave way for an Eggon man. The Gwandara are said to b...

Several Persons Killed As Boko Haram Attacks Damboa In Borno

Damboa has been reportedly deserted by soldiers since the Boko Haram attack on security formations there about two weeks ago. Several people are feared killed as gunmen suspected to be members of the Boko Haram attacked Damboa in Borno State on Friday morning. Damboa has been reportedly deserted by soldiers since the Boko Haram attack on security formations there about two weeks ago. According to a vigilante official in Maiduguri, who said he spoke with some of his men in the Damboa village, the gunmen stormed the village at about 5 a.m. Abbas Gava said only a handful of youth vigilante group, known as Civilian-JTF, and some few vigilante officials were available in Damboa to protect the people. Attempts by soldiers to return to Damboa military base since two weeks ago are said to have failed as the Boko Haram gunmen took over the highway and continued to engage soldiers in ambush attacks that have forced them to return to Maiduguri on two occasions. “Since the attack, Damboa has no p...

My Defeat In Ekiti Not Due To Stomach infrastructure – Fayemi

Ekiti state governor, Dr. Kayode Fayemi has debunked insinuations that he lost the 21 June governorship election because of what analysts have called ‘stomach infrastructure’, saying the insinuations are the handiwork of people he described as “arm chair analysts.” The governor made the assertion at the 70th birthday lecture and book presentation in honour of Professor Olatunji Dare in Lagos. “Forget about what you read in the papers, it is not stomach infrastructure,” he said in a veiled reference to the outcome of the Ekiti state governorship polls. While announcing his launch of the book, Fayemi explained that he decided to attend the event himself and purchase copies of the book because “maybe it will redeem my image of what people say we are. Forget what you read from the arm chair analysts, there is nothing called stomach infrastructure in Ekiti. That story will be told another day, not for this occasion.” He also noted that he did not come to the function with a retinue of poli...

Mesut Özil donates World Cup winnings to 23 children's surgeries in Brazil, and not to Gaza, agent confirms

Arsenal's German midfielder has given away his World Cup winnings to 23 young people's surgeries as "a personal thank-you for the hospitality" After helping Germany lift the World Cup midfilder Mesut Özilhas captured the hearts of Brazilian youngsters, after revealing he has donated around £350,000 of his personal winnings to 23 children's surgeries in the South American country. The Arsenalplaymaker, 25, confirmed the news on his Facebook page, and wrote: "Prior to the ‪#‎WorldCup‬ I supported the surgery of eleven sick children. Since the victory of the #WorldCup is not only due to eleven players but to our whole team, I will now raise the number to 23. this is my personal thank-you for the hospitality of the people of Brazil. ‪#‎Bigshoe‬ ‪#‎Brasil2014‬." His donation sparked confusion on social media sites, with many claiming that his earnings were to be sent to the children of Gaza to aid their recent plight. The rumours, which started to circulate ...

New disciplinary rules for UEFA Champions League

UEFA has announced their disciplinary rules where players on a yellow card will have their bookings voided following the quarterfinal stages of the UEFA Champions League and UEFA Europa League. In a statement posted on UEFA’s official website, it read, “Following a recommendation by the UEFA Club Competitions Committee - in order to implement in UEFA club competitions a rule which is already in force in the UEFA European Football Championship - the Emergency Panel decided that, as of this season, all yellow cards from the beginning of the group stage will expire on completion of the quarter-finals.” "Bookings will therefore not be carried forward to the semi-finals." Last year, Real Madrid midfielder Xabi Alonso was forced to miss the Champions League final after picking up his third yellow card in Real’s semi-final tie against Bayern Munich. However, he will still be unavailable to play in Real Madrid’s UEFA Super Cup tie against Sevilla due to his ban for his celebration ...

Gunmen Invade Jeremiah Useni’s Home

Gunmen suspected to be hired assassins, in the early hours of Thursday, stormed the home of Jeremiah Useni, a former Abuja minister. Mr. Useni was, however, not at his Langtang north Local Government Area, Plateau State home, when the gunmen came. According to witnesses, the suspects shot at the building about 48 times. Mr. Useni, a member of the on-going National Conference, in a telephone interview with journalists on Thursday evening, confirmed the incident. The retired general said no lives were lost. “I was not there myself, but I was told of the incident. No one was killed, but I will later today (Thursday) visit the scene to see things for myself,” he said. The Police Public Relation Officer, PPRO, of the Plateau State command, Abuh Emmanuel, also confirmed the incident to journalists in Jos.

FIFA Lifts Ban On Nigeria

The crisis that has rocked the Nigeria Football Federation since the Aminu Maigari-led board was sacked on July 6 is to be resolved today in line with FIFA's deadline for suspension lifting. The development is as a result of the vacation of a suit in High Court Jos, which had earlier granted restraining order against Maigari's board thus preventing him and his board from administering Nigerian football. FIFA demanded for the withdrawal of the case as well as the reinstatement of the Maigari-led board of the NFF as conditions before lifting the suspension placed on the country since last week. Nigeria was lucky to have the world football governing body extend the deadline for compliance to today due to the judicial workers strike which prevented the court to sit on the earlier fixed July 15. The Amos Adamu-led lobby team sent to FIFA by sports minister Dr. Tammy Danagogo to intimate FIFA on issues that necessitated Maigari's removal returned to the country yesterday and has...

FIFA RANKING: Germany return to top, Nigeria rise to 34th..3rd in Africa

Germany’s charge to claim Sunday’s World Cup title has seen them return to the top of FIFA’s world rankings for the first time in around 20 years. The latest list, published on Thursday, has Germany moving up one place on the strength of their 1-0 defeat of Argentina at Rio de Janeiro’s Maracana. Lionel Messi’s Argentina are placed second, an improvement of three places, with the Netherlands leaping 12 rungs into third after their impressive World Cup third place finish. The James Rodriguez-inspired Colombia move up to fourth (+4), ahead of Belgium (+6) and Uruguay while disappointing Brazil dropped four spots to seventh. Deposed world champions Spain slumped seven spots to their new modest placing of eighth, with Switzerland and France (+7) completing the top ten. Costa Rica’s remarkable charge to the quarter-finals was rewarded with a jump of 12 places to 16th. England’s woeful first round exit resulted in Roy Hodgson’s side dropping ten places to 20th. In the CAF rankings, Algeria ...

Malaysian Airliner With 295 Passengers Downed At Russia/Ukrainian Border by SAHARA REPORTERS

A Malaysian Boeing 777 airliner with 295 passengers on board has crashed into the border between Russia and Ukraine. Several reports indicated that the aircraft which was flying from Amsterdam’s Schipol airport to Kuala Lumpur was shot down by Russian forces. There are no independent confirmation of the allegations, also, there is no information as to whether any of the passengers on board survived the crashed.

Germany: The New World Champion

Germany became the new world champion on Sunday 13th July after a 1-0 victory over Argentina. Meanwhile, Germany defeated the host nation, Brazil by 7-1 in the semi-final. "G" is the 7th letter of alphabets. Germany start with "G" The name contains 7 letters. Germany was in group "G" or group 7 (along with Ghana, USA and Portugal), Germany ended group stage with 7 point (with victory over USA and Portugal and draw against Ghana). Germany scored 7 goals in group stages (4-2 against Portugal, 2-2 against Ghana and 1-0 against USA). Germany scored 7 goals againt Brazil. This is also their 7th match in the tournament. And obviously we are in the 7th month of the year. The conclusion is that Germany is anointed to win this CUP. Do you Agree?

Scientists baffled by appearance of giant crater in Siberia

Mysterious hole discovered in remote tundra in Siberia leaves Russian scientists looking for answers It is a barren landscape so remote that even the locals call it "the end of the world." Now the bleak tundra of Russia's remote Yamal peninsula has been scarred by a vast crater that has left scientists baffled and internet users looking for extra terrestrial explanations. Discovered by helicopter pilots who post video footage of their find in the remote Yamal peninsula on Youtube, the the scar in the otherwise barren tundra resembles a crater caused by a large explosion

“Nigerian Messi” Joins Manchester United On Trial

Highly-rated Nigerian youngster, 16-year-old Ogo Obi, has joined Premiership giants Manchester United on a one year trial deal. Obi, who was highly impressive in last year’s Milk Cup where he scored 10 goals in five games for Watford, was nicknamed “Nigerian Messi” after his exploits at the tournament. He was also being monitored by United’s premier league rivals, Liverpool and Arsenal, for some time. The Red Devils won the race for the youngster’s signature after getting permission from Watford to talk to him. They gave the youngster a tour of their facilities and he trained with other players at the club’s Carrington complex, and that is believed to have influenced his decision to join United. Watford’s attempt to keep Obi, having offered him a place on their scholarship scheme as well as a one-year professional contract, failed to entice the player to give up his ambition of making it through the ranks at Manchester United.

Typhoon Kills Ten In Philippines

Ten people were killed as typhoon Rammasun travel across the Philippines, shutting down the capital, cutting power supplies leading to the evacuation of more than 400,000 residents. Typhoon Rammasun, the strongest typhoon to hit the country this year, passed south of Manila after cutting a path across the main island of Luzon, destroying several infrastructure across the region. Typhoon Rammasun ease on Wednesday evening in the capital, as public institutions were due to reopen on Thursday. Manila Electric Company (MER.PS) said 76 percent of the area it serves was without power, compared with 86 percent earlier in the day. "Our weather is improving as the typhoon is moving further away," Rene Paciente of the weather bureau said, adding storm alerts in various part of the country were lifted or lowered. The number of evacuated residents had reached 409,000, Wilma Cabrera, the Social Welfare Assistant Secretary. Many of those forced from their homes were in the eastern provinc...

Egypt Court Jails Seven Over Sexual Assaults

A court in Egypt has sentenced seven men to prison after finding them guilty of sexual assault and harassment. Several women were attacked by a mob in Cairo's Tahrir Square last month during celebrations after the election of president Abdul Fattah Al-Sisi. Afterwards, president Al- Sisi ordered officials to enforce a new law making sexual assault a crime for the first time. Women's rights groups have in the past accused the Egyptian authorities of failing to tackle the issue.
A court in Egypt has sentenced seven men to prison after finding them guilty of sexual assault and harassment. Several women were attacked by a mob in Cairo's Tahrir Square last month during celebrations after the election of president Abdul Fattah Al-Sisi. Afterwards, president Al- Sisi ordered officials to enforce a new law making sexual assault a crime for the first time. Women's rights groups have in the past accused the Egyptian authorities of failing to tackle the issue.

United Nations Say AIDS Epidemic Might Be Under Control In 2030

There is a chance the AIDS epidemic can be brought under control by 2030, according to a report by the United Nations AIDS Agency, the number of new HIV infections and deaths from aids were both falling. However, it called for far more international effort as the "current pace cannot end the epidemic". The report showed that 35 million people around the world are still living with HIV. There were 2.1 million new cases in 2013, representing 38% less than the 3.4 million figure in 2001. Aids-related deaths have fallen by a fifth in the past three years, standing at 1.5 million a year.

Pro-democracy group condemns Nyako’s impeachment

A pro-democracy group, the Voters’ Assembly (VOTAS) has condemned Tuesday’s impeachment of Adamawa State Governor, Murtala Nyako. The group, in a statement signed by its Chairman, Comrade Mashood Erubami, Wednesday, said Nyako’s impeachment set a new template for vindictive politics in Nigeria, describing it as an ominous sign that the 2015 election will be racked with possible catastrophes. The statement read in part: “If the impeachment of Governor Murtala Nyako in Adamawa is left unchallenged, it would have spill -over effect, in other states where the legislators are already beating the drum of impeachment as is the case in Edo, Rivers, Kano, and Nassarawa, in an attempt at putting the states on the keg of gun powder which could possibly cause a chain of reactions, the end of which nobody could predict. “Obviously, the political environment is now soaked with series of alarms over threat to the lives of key members of opposition parties and potential candidates in the 2015 ...

55 convicted for drinking alcohol

THE Hisbah Board in Kano State has secured the conviction of 55 persons for the alcohol consumption during Ramadan. The Director-General, Abba Sufi, told reporters yesterday in Kano that the convicts were apprehended last week, following raids of their hideouts. He said they were sentenced to four months imprisonment without an option of fine. According to him, 50 of the convicts are married men; the remaining are women.

Happy Birthday to My Daugther

Nothing is more honourable than the day we are born, that is why the bible encourage us to be counting our days so as to direct our path to the path of Wisdom. July 16th is always about you Ms Abigail Sancia Adedoyin Oluwasindara Oluwatomisin Oluwafadekemi Oyero #SanciaOyero: S- Shout halleluyah to God A- Announce to the world that the Lord is good N- Now is time to praise God C- Come and join me to thank God I- I have a very big God A- Adoration to the king of kings. Many happy returns

Syrian President Bashar Assad has been sworn in, marking the beginning of his third seven-year term in office.

State TV broadcast what it said was a live ceremony on Wednesday from the presidential palace in Damascus during which Assad took the oath of office. Assad was seen placing his hand on Islam's holy book, the Quran, pledging to honor the country's constitution in front of a large audience of parliament members and Muslim and Christian clergymen. Assad was re-elected last month in a landslide victory amid a civil war in a vote dismissed by the opposition and its Western allies as a sham. He won 88.7 percent of the ballots cast in the first multicandidate elections in decades. The voting didn't take place in areas engulfed in fighting.

Spoon Measurements Behind Many Child Drug-Dosing Errors: Study

Using a teaspoon or tablespoon to administer kids' medications can often lead to medication dosing errors, a new study reports. Teaspoon- or tablespoon-based medicine instructions doubled a parent's chances of incorrectly measuring the intended dosage, and also doubled the risk they would not accurately follow the doctor's prescription, the study authors found. "A move to a milliliter preference for dosing instructions for liquid medications could reduce parent confusion and decrease medication errors, especially for groups at risk for making errors, such as those with low health literacy and non-English speakers," said the study's lead author Dr. Shonna Yin, an assistant professor of pediatrics at NYU School of Medicine in New York City. Findings from the study were published online July 14 and in the August print issue ofPediatrics. More than 10,000 annual calls to poison centers occur because the wrong dose of oral liquid medications was given to a child, ...

Chibok Girls' Families Reject Presidential Meeting, Jonathan Blames Opposition

The parents of the kidnapped Chibok students said ‘no’ to a meeting with Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan on Tuesday, the BBC reports. Their rejection of the Tuesday meet-up in Abuja was unexpected, and has struck a blow to the president’s ongoing charm offensive. The meeting was a staged event organized by Levick, the Washington-based PR firm, and President Goodluck Jonthan was set to formally meet and be photographed with the families of the students abducted by Boko Haram in mid-April. 17 Chibok residents were expected to meet with the president, including five of the students who had managed to escape. However, the Borno State families, in a surprising last minute move, reportedly called it off.

EFCC Arraigns Man For N16m Scam

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, on Tuesday, July 15, 2014 arraigned one Bashir Salihu before Justice M. Talba of the High Court of the Federal Capital Territory, Gudu, Abuja on a 2-count charge bordering on criminal breach of trust and issuance of dud cheque. Salihu allegedly obtained the sum of sixteen million naira (N16m) as loan from one Ramatu A Isiaq for the construction of perimeter fence of Niger Delta Science, Technology and Bio Industrial Park in Sagbama, Bayelsa State. The accused is said to have promised to repay the loan with interest within three months but failed to do so. All efforts to recover the money proved futile.

Adamawa Speaker, Umaru Fintiri, Sworn In As Acting Governor

The Speaker of Adamawa State House of Assembly, Umaru Fintiri, has been sworn into office as the new Acting Governor following the impeachment of Governor Murtala Nyako and the resignation of his deputy. Mr. Fintiri was sworn in by the President of the Customary Court in the State at the council chambers of Government House, Yola. In a short remark after his swearing in, the new acting governor promised to pay the civil servants salaries the outstanding two months being owed them by the state government. Part of the allegations against former governor Nyako was the alleged cut in civil servants salaries for the month of June. Civil servants were also not paid for July because the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC, froze the accounts of the state government at the beginning of impeachment process against Messrs. Nyako and Ngilari; though the later resigned to stave off impeachment. Mr. Fintiri will hold office for a maximum of 3 months during which time the electoral commi...

2,053 Killed By Boko Haram In First Half Of 2014--Human Rights Watch

The Nigerian government should recognize that it needs to protect its population both from Boko Haram and from abusive members of its own military and police. The Islamist insurgency Boko Haram in Nigeria killed at least 2,053 civilians in an estimated 95 attacks during the first half of 2014, Human Rights Watch said today. The figures are based on detailed analyses of media reports as well as field investigations.The killings and other abuses were part of widespread attacks on civilians in over 70 towns and villages in northeastern Nigeria, in the federal capital, Abuja, and elsewhere that are apparent crimes against humanity. READ MORE... http://bit.ly/1sknqQn

2,053 Killed By Boko Haram In First Half Of 2014--Human Rights Watch

The Nigerian government should recognize that it needs to protect its population both from Boko Haram and from abusive members of its own military and police. The Islamist insurgency Boko Haram in Nigeria killed at least 2,053 civilians in an estimated 95 attacks during the first half of 2014, Human Rights Watch said today. The figures are based on detailed analyses of media reports as well as field investigations.The killings and other abuses were part of widespread attacks on civilians in over 70 towns and villages in northeastern Nigeria, in the federal capital, Abuja, and elsewhere that are apparent crimes against humanity. READ MORE... http://bit.ly/ 1sknqQn

Akpos In Toilet

Akpos in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'. He sat down and noticed four buttons - WW, WA, PP and APR. Curious, he pressed WW and his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much! He then pressed WA and a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, he pressed PP and a POWDER PUFF made him smell fresh. Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR. He later woke up in a hospital. A nurse smiled and said to him, "Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER. When the machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went for your balls. Your balls are in the jar over there."

Husband For Sale

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs. Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids,and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclai...

Trust Nobody

Osas, was embarking on a long trip and decides his wife should wear steel underwear. He locks the underwear and gives the key to his best friend Akpos, saying "If i don't come back in 10 years, set her free." Osas was only 30 minutes into his journey when he sees a cloud of dust behind him. It was Akpos running after him. "What's wrong?" Osas asked. Akpos, still panting, says "You gave me the wrong key!"

Look Before You Leap

Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two! She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. "Hi darling", he says, "your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you have said hello to them."

Spaghetti

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. “But how will I let you know the baby is born?” she asked. He replied, “Just send me a postcard and write ‘spaghetti’ on the back. I’ll take care of expenses.” Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by and then one day the doctor’s wife called him at the office and explained, “Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don’t understand what it means.” The doctor said, “Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you.” Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card...

Let Us Laugh

Akpos has been admiring his neighbour's wife for quite sometime now. The neighbour's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they greet each other. Akpos didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she's married. So, one day the lady approached Akpos alone in his apartment and the following conversation transpired: AKPOS: Hi. LADY: Hi. AKPOS: Is everything alright? LADY: (smiling seductively) Yes. Just need a little help from you. AKPOS: (sheepishly grinning). Ok. What kind of help? LADY: (stuttering) I... I... I just don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no. AKPOS: (getting excited at the prospect of her demand). Oh! You don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you. LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled... AKPOS: (very excited now) Yes! Yes! Yes! LADY: (she continues) ...And even when he's around, he has some... (she paused for a moment),...

Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.' The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of...

Help From Unknown

An old farmer wrote to his son who was in prison "...this year I won't b able to plant potatoes and other things because I can't dig the field, I know if you were here you would have helped me" The son wrote back, "Dad, don't even think of digging the field do you want to expose me? That's where I buried the money I stole" The police read the letter before delivering it to the father, and the next day the whole field was dug by police but nothing was found. The following day the son wrote to his father again, "Now you can plant your potatoes Dad, your farm has been dug for you"

Marriage is worth saving part 2

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring ...